Posted by: GPK | 25.August.2009

Interdepence – Our bridge to Hope and Connection!


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

You’ve heard (or read) me talk about interdependence. I’m inspired by the idea of relying on someone for support, guidance, and encouragement without being dependant.  It is possible to have a healthy balance among doing for others and having others do for you.  It is possible to maintain such a balance in relationships without creating co-dependence.  The key is being willing to stand on your own and being willing to accept support at any given time.  It may, in practice, be the willingness to explore your own insecurities by “allowing” another to explore their interests on their own.  It may, in practice, be embracing the joy of watching another reach and grow without your ego being involved.  It falls apart when we become so invested in each other’s experience and infuse it with our own “stuff” that it becomes difficult to see where their experience ends and where ours begins.  We lose our selves and encroach on others’ selves.

In practice interdependence may be difficult but not impossible.  That’s where community comes in.  Interdependence doesn’t stop at the bedroom door, or the front door or – especially now with communications being what they are – even at the town line or at the border.  Community resides right here.  We reach out to friends and folks with common interests and derive energy from it.  Again, as long as we don’t – in the long term – come to “need” that particular source of connection and can stand on our own, it’s a healthy, supportive source.

I believe now may be time to put this growing community of ours to the test.  We’ve grown to the point where individual survivors and caregivers sometimes need more than I can offer due to the demands and desires of my own experience.  Have you ever felt the feeling of being so alone in an experience that you might not be able to handle it?  I know I have.  I remember sitting in the hospital bed after my family had all left.  I remember wondering when I’d be able to go home?  Whether I’d ever go home?  What chemo would feel like?  What it would do to me?  Do you recall any of that?

Fear and isolation can be transformed, however, into hope and connection with a few simple words.  In our cases, with a few clicks of the mouse and a few key strokes.  So I’m sharing with you today an idea and a hope. I would like to be able to ask some of you out there if you’d make yourself available somehow to reach out to folks who are in need of connection and support.  These are people who reach out to me as a result of having read my books or seen me speak somewhere, etc.

These are special, wonderful people who have enriched my life by simply showing up.  I’d like to create a sort of “Special Forces” for survivors and caregivers.  People who have their own “stuff” together enough to want to and be willing to help others get their “stuff” together simply by saying hello, maybe “listening”, and offering a word of encouragement and hope.  I’m not talking about therapy or counseling or anything that you’d need training for.  Just being nice and anybody can do that, right?

The mechanism I propose to do this through right now is a fun little place on-line called Facebook.  I know you’ve heard of it and some of you may be rolling your eyes but for now it’s a solid platform that allows the connection to happen with little technical support from me (and trust me, this is a good thing!).  😉

We are working on a different platform that I think will work great but for now, Facebook is there and operating and will be here tomorrow so let’s take advantage of it.

So here’s the deal. If you’re interested and willing to be referred to a survivor or caregiver as someone who would accept a “friend request” on Facebook and maybe start a little dialogue of hope and connection, I’ll ask you to please follow the steps below.  I think it’s pretty clear but I’ll say it for good measure, we’re not looking for rescue operations, marriage proposals or strange encounters.  Just a friendly “voice” to reach out and say “hi, you’re not alone!”

So, if you’re up for it, let’s give this a try.  1) Go to http://www.facebook.com , 2) log on or create a new account (it’s fairly easy and free), 3) search George P. Kansas and click on the link to “Send a Friend Request”. 4) write me a quick personal message saying something like “GPK, I’m interested in being an iCanSir Speical Forces.”  Then I’ll keep a list of you wonderful Ninjas.  As I am contacted by folks who are in need of a little extra connection, I’ll put them in touch with you and you with them through Facebook.  That way everyone has their own control over who connects with whom.

I can’t offer you a free tee shirt or a book or anything else right now other than the deep satisfaction of helping someone with a few kind words.  I’m hoping it may be enough for you right now.  These folks need it and something tells me maybe you might too!

If not, tune back in tomorrow and their will be more good stuff waiting for you.  Thank you!

Peace and gratitude,

GPK

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