Posted by: GPK | 7.October.2009

What I see…

Often when cancer strikes, the whole family feels it.  Consequently, a lot of couples attend my programs.  Often, especially in the more senior couples, I’ve noticed the most beautiful devotion and commitment to each other.  It seems that an enormous roadblock like cancer can bring out the best in the emotional storehouses a couple has banked over years of partnership.  Occasionally, however, I’ll observe a couple harboring resentment for one another that it really concerns me.  One or the other of them directs such venom toward the other that it can’t possibly be good for either of them.

I see spouses begin to mourn the loss of the other partner while they are both still alive.  I understand the desire to prepare for what appears to be an inevitable loss.  It seems a shame to me that they would choose to waste valuable time with that.  Maybe its anger at the perceived abandonment?  Maybe it’s resentment?  Whatever it is, it’s driven by fear of the unknown.  “What will I do without him?” “Who will take care of me if this happens to me?” These might be some of the questions rattling around.

Time is so precious.  It’s a pity to allow fear to turn to resentment in our everyday life.  It’s even more so to allow it to happen when we are confronted with such obvious time constraints.  When each moment counts, aren’t we ultimately better off reaching for connection?  I know personally, I’ve allowed years to go by letting resentment fester and it’s just not worth it.  The pain of it hurt me so deeply and the wasted time can never be recovered.  I can only move forward.  How?

Aren’t we better off mending rather than rending?

What do you think?

Engage, Think, Share!

Peace & Gratitude,




  1. Thank you.

  2. Beautiful post, and very good points. I would like to say its a pity to allow fear in any way shape or form! Thanx for the reminder 🙂

  3. Thank you Jessica! What strategies do you employ to remind yourself?

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