Posted by: GPK | 10.December.2009

What was it like before cancer?


I remember when it didn’t even cross my mind what it might mean that a cold was persisting so long?  When it didn’t pop into my head that chronic sinusitis wasn’t anything but a real pain.  Now it’s a challenge to wrestle the ideas that my immune system could be shutting down again or this abdominal pain might be a recurrence or a secondary or God knows what???

What was it like before cancer?  What was it like to just get a cold or the flu or a stomach bug or whatever and not worry “Shit, what if???”

My conscious mind knows that it’s “natural” to have these attacks of paranoia.  Having spoken with thousands of survivors of cancers and other serious illnesses, I know that these little arguments with my non-conscious mind are just part of the scenery now.  I also know that they come less frequently and worry me for a lot less time than they did the first few years after.  Every once in a while, however, I wonder “what was it like before cancer?”

So I pivot and remind myself that I have a constitution made of titanium and an immortal soul and that no matter what happens to my body my soul will always be in perfect health.  I remind myself that I can handle it.  I remind myself that it’s just a cold, or just the flu, or just a little gas from the garlic I ate last night.  😉

I guess I’m just reflecting on how scary it was.  Reflecting on how grateful I am to be healthy.   How grateful I am that almost 99% of the time I have a pretty good attitude about life and health.  How fortunate we are to be here and breathing and reading and growing!

Just something to make you go hmmmmmm today.  Now go do some good with it!

So freakin’ grateful today.

Peace and a little more gratitude than usual.

GPK

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Responses

  1. Hey George,
    I must admit I have not been in the know on you medical situation. Mostly because when I read your posts on facebook are so positive and inspirational. It was 2 years ago in august that I died. 2 transfusions and a week in the ccu that I dont remember. just felt better when I woke up…some of it was self induced abuse to my body but mostly the steering wheel of my truck at impact with the telephone pole that did the damage. I know I am not alone after surving my accident. You are not alone nor am I! Keep up what you are doing. We are truly blessed.
    Have a great day brother. Jim

    • Right back at you brotha! Wow. I am very glad that you were able to come back from that. You are brave to acknowledge your role in bringing you to that point. It takes a lot of sack to do that. We are indeed truly blessed! Thank you for jumping in, Jim! Peace. GPK


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