Posted by: GPK | 22.December.2009

Expectations…the ticking relationship key.


OK.  You didn’t seem that into the 12 days of Christmas project so we’ll change course here a bit in the remaining days of 2009.

I watched a family sort of disintegrate recently.  What could have been a really cool milestone for their whole clan turned into a festering wound that broke things down amongst them.  It was tragic to watch such a close group lose their path because of the greed and influence of an outsider whose impact was supposed to have been positive.

It made me realize a couple of things.  What one person sees as a legacy, another may see as a sentimental nuisance.  What one person sees as a promise, another may see as a “maybe”.  What one person thinks is not important may mean the world to another.  Everyone takes a different approach.

It comes down to communication.  It would be better to assume that someone doesn’t understand what you feel then to assume that they do.  Better to assume the other person doesn’t understand what you intend then to assume that they do.  Assumptions, they say, are the mother of all screw-ups.  After watching this family break down, I can see why that saying is so true.

As the year draws to a close, take the time to clear up assumptions that may be lying around in your relationships.  Sit down with someone you care about and ask about expectations that may exist.  Only when people communicate openly about these expectations can each truly make an honest decision about how to participate in the relationship.

It’s a good time to assess things.  The New Year is a great time to reach out with a letter or a call.

Peace and Gratitude,

GPK

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Responses

  1. Thank you for this George. I recently had a bit of a tiff with my mom. Sigh. Right before the holiday. What you say about assumptions is so true. Turns out I was feeling the SAME exact way as my mom… we both thought the other was thinking something else though. This could have been cleared up long ago if either of us had bothered to simply ask what the other was actually thinking and feeling.

  2. I personally like my mom’s old sayings about assumptions “when you assume you make an a– out of u and me.” So so so true!


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